How is life like toilet paper?
You're either on a roll or taking poop from someone.
What did the coach say to the broken vending machine?
Why are trees always so positive?
What did the golfer yell when his wife gave birth to their second child?
Which dog belongs in a band?
What did the cupcakes say to the icing?
Why is your lawyer such a smart guy?
What do you call it when cell phones have poor hitting averages in baseball?
Why was the horse so bad at dressage?
How did Jesus's mom greet everyone on his birthday?
What do an English major and a football player have in common?
What did the calculator tell his valentine?
What is a king's favorite weather?
Where do honeybees take their wives for their anniversary?
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
What's a southern pig's favorite form of cooking?
Did you hear about the dogs that just started dating?
Why do cats give such great massages?
OK, that's enough fish puns.
Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?
What do lions eat on their cheat day?